I figure if you’re going to be reading my stuff, I should at least be courteous enough to tell you who exactly you are reading about, eh?

I’m Julie. I’m a 30-something gal currently living in San Antonio the north-Austin area of Texas. I am also a full-time mom, significant other, partner in crime, and student, mostly in that order.

My eldest daughter is Glynnis, also lovingly referred to as Gee-Lovely or Girl Child. She’s 12 (holy shit! already?), halfway through the 7th grade, and she is also a blogger.

My eldest son is Todd, also lovingly referred to as Toddy Karate or Boy Child. He’s 10 and a half (insane!), halfway through the 5th grade, and has no use for writing. At least not yet.

My youngest boy is Logan, also lovingly referred to as Buster (by his dad) or Turkey (by myself). He’s actually my future husband’s son from a previous marriage (not that it matters). He’s 5 and a half, halfway through kindergarten, and is on track to be valedictorian. Seriously, the child is freakishly smart for his age.

My youngest girl is Coraline, or Cora, or Baby C. She’s also known as Miss Hissy or Super Baby (depending on her mood). She just turned 7 months old so needless to say, I’ve got my hands full. In fact, I’m typing this page with only one hand.

My current baby-on-the-inside is set to appear sometime in mid-April. Yes, that means that there is only about 6 weeks between this little guy and our last baby. Yes, that also means that we’ll have 2 children under the age of one year (Super Baby won’t even be 11 months old when this one is born!). Yes, you can borrow one or more of the children at any given time. For free.

My kitties are Tobey Longfellow, also lovingly referred to as Tobey Wan Kenobi or Tobey Tard (he really is mildly retarded), Saoirse (pronounced sear-shuh), also lovingly referred to as Grim Cat, Grimmy, or just plain Grim, and Captain Clawhugs, also lovingly referred to as Cappy, or just plain Captain. Also, Tobey and Cappy are avid bird watchers.

My significant other/partner in crime/best friend is Derek. We met while I was doing an internship in his department at work and it was practically love at first sight. (That internship changed my life, yo!) We quickly became best friends and it took me about 2 years to finally muster the courage to confess I’d fallen in love with him.

Why?

Because he was married.

Oops.

It quickly turned in to an office scandal with some unscrupulous co-workers finding my website. Then the gossip started. Then management got involved. Then I decided to delete fucking everything. (I might write about it in detail one day. It’s a pretty fantastical story.)

And now I’m back!

I recently traded in my title in the corporate world for a domestic one. I’m enjoying being a stay-at-home mother and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to really focus on school. I’m currently majoring in Communications (with a GPA of 3.76!) and hope to earn my bachelor’s degree before the world ends.

In my spare time (ha!), I enjoy sitting around in my underwear. (Guess how much time I get to devote to that endeavor.)

I am really good at finding grammatical and/or spelling errors in other people’s writing (although I am terrible at finding my own). I love road trips, bitch rawk, and buying yarn for knitting. Also, I hate not knowing how to knit anything other than a scarf. I love kittens, coffee, and playing Dr. Mario. (Seriously, I will school you at Dr. Mario.) I enjoy being a Brain Behind The Band, I love reading snark, but I fail at being snarky (usually). I am also really good about blogging before I think.

I prefer the British spelling of things (e.g., humour, colour, flavour), I hate mayonnaise, and I much prefer the winter over any other time of year. I’m a huge Harry Potter nerd, a hasbian (ohh! more scandal!), a Cancer, and a liberal.

I love jasmine tea (with milk), I enjoy making homemade greeting cards and other paper crafts, and I have been known to ingest only rocky road ice cream and white wine for weeks at a time.

Please forward all love notes, brownies, and cheap babysitters to hello @ jewlee dot com. In addition, please forward all mail bombs, droughts, and hate mail to your mom. Alright, that’s all.

For now.