Timeline

Month 4

Dear Baby C,

Did you see what I did there? Yep, you got it! I done up and skipped Month 3 completely because, come on, was Month 3 really much different than Month 2? OK, so maybe it was a little different. I mean, once you got to about 13 weeks old you started doing this thing that I can only describe as baby voodoo magic. Since about a week after you made it to 3 months, you started sleeping through the entire night. Super Baby, all I can say is THANK YOU. You started sleeping from about 9 or 10 p.m. until around 6:30 to 7:30 a.m. Let me just say that your Timing (with a capital T) couldn’t have been any better because right around that time, for some reason I started experiencing the WORST episodes of insomnia. I would literally get 2-3 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period and after a few days of that turning into a few weeks, I would have sworn that I wasn’t even human anymore. Thankfully the insomnia has gotten marginally better over the last couple of days. I hope getting 5-6 hours of sleep at night continues (or improves), because also right around your 3-month mark, I started becoming even more exhausted than I already was. I’m talking soul-crushing fatigue so awful that even thinking about moving my body made me want to weep a mixture of broken glass and isopropyl alcohol tears. And then, your father and I realized the root cause of these effects. In April of 2012, likely before you even turn 11 months old, you’re going to be a big sister. You’re welcome!

One of the things we’ve learned about you is that you are never content to just lay around and observe the world around you. Nope. Instead, you always have to be in the middle of everything going on. So, your father and I decided to go ahead and get you an exersaucer. Never mind the fact that you were still far too small for the thing; after you got to sit in it for the first time, you spent damn near a week staring at it and smiling longingly every single time you’d notice it. If you don’t believe me, go ask your dad. You did the same thing when we bought your first stroller when you were almost 3 months old. Whenever it was out, your eyes would lock on to it and you’d just smile and coo. But, true to your nature, it didn’t take long for you to grow bored with whatever the latest toy we’d bought you, and since you like to jump on your father’s testicleeze every time you’re in his lap, we went for the safest baby product ever invented: a jumper. I was at school the evening that it was delivered, but as soon as I got home I just had to put you in it. You’re reaction was priceless. In fact, that night you came closer than you ever had to actually laughing.

Speaking of laughing, why aren’t you doing that yet? According to the Week 12 baby development email I received 6 weeks ago, you should be laughing already. We have tried literally every single day to get you to laugh and yet you still refuse. Tickling doesn’t work. Making funny faces doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything we can think of and every day when we ultimately fail, we just look at each other and say in unison, “Welp, not today!” Seriously Super Baby, you’re over 4 months old. Just effing laugh!

It’s hard to be mad about you lack of laughter though, since you more than make up for it by your ever growing vocal abilities. I could listen to you “ooh” and “ahh” all day long. Your little noises are seriously so cute that if given the chance, it would easily broker a peace deal between the Israelies and Palestinians. I’d even go so far as to bet money that the noises you make when you have the sleepy sillies would have softened bin Laden’s heart into a big pile of goo.

Now that you’re starting to get a little older, you are much more fun to interact with. Your older brother Todd went from not giving you a passing glance to being the first one that wants to go and get you out of bed whenever you wake up. He’ll sit with you in the living room and play with you every chance he gets. It’s pretty sweet to watch the two of you “play” with each other. You’ve definitely become his favourite little person.

That’s just you though. Your budding little personality is so fun to witness. You delight anyone who crosses your path, smiling and coyly flirting with anyone who dares look your way. It’s kind of nice to take you out these days because your daddy and I can enjoy a nice meal outside of the house because you insist that the party of 8 at the table next to us pass you around until we are finished eating. Let it be known that your father and I won’t ever pass up some free babysitting, yo!

Seriously though. The good days far outnumber the bad. We’ve settled into this marvelous routine and I find myself thinking toward the future, knowing that these days are numbered and that it won’t be long before you’ll be blossoming into this amazing little girl. I’m looking forward to you getting older, but I’m enjoying these moments. You sure are one Super Baby.

Love,

Mama

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Month Two

Dear Baby C,

Today you turn 2 months old, which is incredible because it seems like it was only a few days ago that I was detailing Month One. Time sure does fly when you are drinking wine having fun!

In the last month you’ve started blooming into this really incredible little person. This is welcome news because I had started looking around for the box you came in. Then I got all pissed off because I couldn’t find the receipt. Then I remembered that the hospital has no return policy and I’m like, well what am I supposed to do now?

So, I started talking to you. Now, I’ve always talked at you, but once you turned a month old I decided to start talking to you. I talked and talked and talked and after a few weeks I had all but given up hope that you’d finally start talking back. And then do you know what happened? On the day you turned 8 weeks and 1 day, you started talking back. I mean, not talking with words, but you finally started responding with noises that weren’t screams. That’s my girl! And since then? Well, you still scream a lot. But you also have the most amazing baby noises. You “oohh” and “ahh” and “coo” and it is music to my ears.

This month we also went on a road trip. We got to see your grandparents, your great granny, and your great grandparents. It was a long trip (and one we’d not like to repeat any time soon since you are an anomaly and hate being in the car), but it was worth it.

You are blooming faster than I’d like though. While I won’t miss the sleepless nights or the screaming because you aren’t in the middle of everything going on around you, I know I will miss this period of blossoming. You are one Super Baby and I love you very much.

Love,

Mama

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Month One

Dear Baby C,

Well would you look at that? You’re a month old already and you aren’t dead yet. Better yet, your father and I aren’t dead yet either! This is great news because it means we must be doing something right, eh? Your first month has gone by so quickly that it’s hard to believe that just a month ago today I was absolutely certain I wasn’t ever going to go into labour. I kept putting off going to the hospital because I really worried that it was just another false alarm. But nope! Just a few short hours after arriving at the hospital, we finally got to meet you face to face.

See that face up there? That’s you in the hospital. See that face your making? You’ve made that exact face every single day since the day you were born. Judging by your already stubborn nature and your considerable willfulness, your nickname has come to be Miss Hissy. I wholeheartedly believe you are going to grow up believing that to be your actual name. Why? BECAUSE YOU HISS. ALL. THE. TIME. It’s astounding really that you’ve already mastered your first language, but neither your father nor myself speak Parseltounge, so if you could start talking English, that’d be swell.

See that face up there? You should do that more often. You’ve only been living here a month and you complain ALL THE TIME. The other day I told you to quit your bitchin and do you know what you did? YOU IGNORED ME. I’m begging you Miss Hissy. Please listen to your mama. Please?

See that face up there? DO MORE OF THAT ALSO PLEASE.

In all seriousness though, you are a good baby. You generally sleep really well, you eat ALL THE TIME, and you’ve started doing this thing in the morning when you wake up where you are actually pleasant. It’s a lot of fun and when your father wakes up in the morning to get ready for work, I make sure to include him so he gets to enjoy this part of your personality. I do this because without fail you start yelling at him once he gets home from work. Give the guy a break! It’s not his fault that he doesn’t have milk bags to suck on!

I want you to know that we’re doing our best here. And we’ll keep that up if you do. Deal?

Deal.

Love,

Mama

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