This was something that my best friend, Tia, said to me years ago. This was a few months after my two eldest children had come to live with me, after having lived with their father in England for about 3 years. The issues the children were facing after moving back (and sadly are still dealing with), may not have been so bad had his remarriage to his second wife gone better. Further, the emotional damage his remarriage, in addition to, his second wife caused has always affected Glynnis far more than her biggest-little brother, Todd (who thankfully doesn’t remember nearly as much because he was so young), is something she (and we as a family) *still* deal with to this day. My best friend said it so succinctly back then. Unfortunately, the words she shared with me that day are still current, so I feel that reposting them is in order:

“If you don’t think you’re secure enough to handle a man with a previous love/marriage/kids, then why get involved in the first place? This is certainly more effective than falling in love with someone whose situation is beyond what you can deal with and wrecking some kids’ lives in the process. The problem is, that no matter how wonderful you do your children now, you have to know that they’re always going to have some issues due to this. I think about that with my own daughter all the time. Glynnis is so magical, but we both know that she’s gonna have her ass on a couch for fifty-minute hours.”

Well said, lovely. ♥