Month One

Posted by June 27, 2011

Dear Baby C,

Well would you look at that? You’re a month old already and you aren’t dead yet. Better yet, your father and I aren’t dead yet either! This is great news because it means we must be doing something right, eh? Your first month has gone by so quickly that it’s hard to believe that just a month ago today I was absolutely certain I wasn’t ever going to go into labour. I kept putting off going to the hospital because I really worried that it was just another false alarm. But nope! Just a few short hours after arriving at the hospital, we finally got to meet you face to face.

See that face up there? That’s you in the hospital. See that face your making? You’ve made that exact face every single day since the day you were born. Judging by your already stubborn nature and your considerable willfulness, your nickname has come to be Miss Hissy. I wholeheartedly believe you are going to grow up believing that to be your actual name. Why? BECAUSE YOU HISS. ALL. THE. TIME. It’s astounding really that you’ve already mastered your first language, but neither your father nor myself speak Parseltounge, so if you could start talking English, that’d be swell.

See that face up there? You should do that more often. You’ve only been living here a month and you complain ALL THE TIME. The other day I told you to quit your bitchin and do you know what you did? YOU IGNORED ME. I’m begging you Miss Hissy. Please listen to your mama. Please?

See that face up there? DO MORE OF THAT ALSO PLEASE.

In all seriousness though, you are a good baby. You generally sleep really well, you eat ALL THE TIME, and you’ve started doing this thing in the morning when you wake up where you are actually pleasant. It’s a lot of fun and when your father wakes up in the morning to get ready for work, I make sure to include him so he gets to enjoy this part of your personality. I do this because without fail you start yelling at him once he gets home from work. Give the guy a break! It’s not his fault that he doesn’t have milk bags to suck on!

I want you to know that we’re doing our best here. And we’ll keep that up if you do. Deal?

Deal.

Love,

Mama

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Not at all like riding a bike.

Posted by June 13, 2011

You’d figure that with Baby C being my third child, I’d have this whole “mom” thing down. You’d be wrong though. Even when I was pregnant with her, in many respects it felt as though I was gearing up to be a first time mom. I think it’s because Girl Child and Boy Child are older now it’s hard to remember what day-to-day life with a newborn was like.

So, I’m (re)learning the ropes.

We started breastfeeding in the hospital and I thought it was going well until the day we were discharged when I realized that she wasn’t latching properly. I met with a lactation consultant who confirmed that her latch was far too shallow. She showed me how to fix it, but the damage to my poor nipples had been done. I started pumping the first night home from the hospital because of the cracking and bleeding. But, we got through it! And within a matter of days we were back on track.

The lack of sleep has been an adjustment, and I am certain that I’ll never enjoy another full night’s sleep in my own bed with The Boy, but I’m making it. Better than I thought I would.

But then, a few nights ago I made breakfast tacos for dinner. And that has been the source of the latest round of issues. Apparently, eating eggs and breastfeeding do not go together at all because the next day was absolutely awful. Poor Baby C had the worst stomach upset and The Boy and I had the hardest time comforting her and making her comfortable. It took a day to figure out the culprit, but I’m absolutely certain that’s what caused it. So once again, I am pumping until I am sure that my milk isn’t going to cause a repeat of that awfulness.

She’s still not back to her normal self, but it’s getting better and hopefully by tomorrow the fussiness will be almost entirely gone. Until then though, I feel like I can’t do anything for her.

And it breaks my heart.

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Five Years – #Trust30

Posted by June 7, 2011

Dear 5-Years-Ago You,

In 5 years you’ll be happier, more content, and stronger than you could have ever imagined. Don’t worry, it’s coming. ♥

Dear 5-Years-From-Now You,

I hope you’ve come to terms with the fact that the tough outer shell you were born with will always exist. I hope you’ve learned to love it; learned to surrender to it even. Above all, I hope you’ve learned how to share the sweet, soft inside parts of you that make you who you really are. Because that part of you? That part has always been the most delicious. Promise. ♥

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General Update

Posted by June 2, 2011

It’s been a few days since we came home from the hospital so I figured an update was in order.

Things are going so well. Baby C eats like a champ, sleeps like a champ, and is seriously the easiest baby in the entire universe. I had serious doubts about how in the holy hell I was going to take care of a newborn because it had been so long since I’d cared for one, but she’s so agreeable that all of those fears are completely gone. Easiest. Baby. Ever.

It’s been a little less than a week since she was born and I’m already down by 24 pounds. Having gained 61 with this pregnancy (and literally all 61 of those pounds were gained in the last 4 months), this is encouraging. I’m healing well and fast and in no time I know I’ll be back to my former self with no pubic bone pain or any other pregnancy related feelings of yuckiness. This is a good thing and a bad thing because I’m starting to forget just how incredibly awful the pain of pregnancy was and the thought of doing it all over again isn’t nearly as horrifying as it should be. I’m less than a week postpartum and I’m already considering doing it again? What the hell is wrong with me?

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the eldest children. This is good and bad. Good because I’m getting to spend a considerable amount of time with them this summer. Bad because boredom sets in fast and I give it a day before they are going at each other like wild animals.

Stepson is here and will be here until the end of the week. Our life is filled with general craziness but having stepson here makes everything feel complete. I wish he never had to leave.

That about sums everything up. For now anyway.

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Today – #Trust30

Posted by June 1, 2011

I’m participating in #Trust30, a 30-day writing challenge from ralphwaldoemerson.me.

Today (like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that) helps reinforce that the best revenge is living a good life.

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